dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
