dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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