I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
