I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
