Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
