the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize