I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
