I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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