Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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