Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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