No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
