not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
