Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize