There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
