Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
