I heard we made out
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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