Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
