So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
