Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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