if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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