Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
