If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
