This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
