How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
