I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
