i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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