She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
