I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The power of my boobs compel you
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
