Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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