i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
