There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize