Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think your dad took our porno
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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