kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
