I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
