If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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