He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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