She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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