so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
