look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize