normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize