good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
