your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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