I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
