Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
