i barfeds in our rink
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
