I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
