Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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