I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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