I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
