it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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