i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
