I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
COCAINE IS GR8
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
