bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My feet surprised me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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