the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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