dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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