Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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