She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Pappa wants mamma naked
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize