hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize