I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Couch. On fire.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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