One girl and one boy is just not enough.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
