YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
